The Zoo of a Fellowship
by LafiTafi
Summary: We can't come up w/ a better title, so there you go. Sauron makes a mistake and turns everybody in Middle Earth into animals. Chaos ensues and that whole One Ring mess makes everything a little worse. Ch 4: Bilbo's party is hot. Literally.~*Lafi & Tafi*~
1. Prologue: Oops

Disclaimer: We don't own LOTR. We do own 5 fish and 2 cats and any spiders or other bugs you might find in our bedrooms.  
  
A/N: Here's an idea we had. Dunno what's up with our heads. Do you know?  
  
Lafi: I guess I have a demented brain.  
  
Tafi: Well, we're hoping that this will be the first ever co-written fic that we've made. Sure, we've created co fics before, but they were only fics that Lafi came up with and Tafi wrote (i.e. "A New Middle Earth" and "Screwed in a Tree"). So, we'll have to see if our constant bickering messes this up or not. Tell us what you think. WARNING: This is a movie fic, not a book fic. But we might mess up and place some book bits in there. ^_^  
  
Prologue  
  
Sauron was hanging out in the sky of Barad-dûr like he always did on weekends. Or weekdays, for that matter. Ever since he lost his poor little precious, he'd been a mess. He'd been sitting there over Barad-dûr for a REALLY long time now. All he did was stare at the ever-boring Middle Earth and smoke that expensive pipe-weed, hence the blood-shot eye. He was hooked and had nothing better to do. He just sat there, constantly high, and constantly bored, for countless years when one day, he had an amazing idea:  
  
I WANNA BE A SNAKE!  
  
All of the Orcs and all that other riff raff in Mordor heard his wish and were confused, but he didn't care. He was going to use all of his high and bored mind to become a snake, and that was that. On day, he finally discovered how to make his wish come true:  
  
OOGLEY DOOGLEY!…oops  
  
Sauron had turned himself into a cobra. The mirror never lied to him. He had succeeded. But he was having a chat with his good new friend Saruman that day and of course showing him his special transformation. He noticed something odd happened. When he looked back at Saruman, he only saw a rattlesnake. Sauron felt himself turning redder in embarrassment and decided to see if the same had happened to the other Maiar in Middle Earth. Radagast was a garden snake. Gandalf was a diamondback. Sauron knew that everyone was angry enough with him at the moment, so he decided to quickly change the wizards back to normal.  
  
LOCUS BOGUS!…wait, that's not right  
  
Sauron looked over Middle Earth to see what happened. No, the wizards were still snakes. He looked again. Surely he changed something? And sure enough, he looked in on some Elves and screamed his little girlish scream. He usually had quite a nice time looking in on Galadriel when she bathed, but not today. Today he saw a drenched white cat scrambling to get out of her birdbath. Er, I meant mirror. 'She must have been trying to look at ME naked and she fell in, poor dear' he thought. He had to set this strait. Elrond would try to kill him again. He decided to look in on Elrond and had quite a giggle. A calico was cleaning itself in its special area on Elrond's bed. Sauron just HAD to see Elrond doing this in his normal form. He HAD to change them all back.  
  
ABRA CADABRA!…but he's still a kitty  
  
Sauron looked disappointed at Elrond. 'Oh well,' he thought. But he knew that something must have changed. He looked around Middle Earth for something different, but found nothing. He looked again, but nothing. Angry, he looked very carefully at the orcs, men, what are those things Saruman is making without MY permission???, hobbits, and dwarves. But NOTHING was different. Wait a minute…trace back…he looked at the Dwarves again. Something didn't seem right…wait…PIGS! The Dwarves were pigs! No wonder he couldn't tell the difference. He looked back at Elrond and he was still cleaning himself, so he knew he still had time.  
  
RATHABANZA!…wait, I just made that one up  
  
Sauron looked eagerly at Elrond but was again disappointed. Rolling his eye, or himself, or whatever, he looked over Middle Earth again. He laughed very hard seeing Denethor peeing on the White Tree. Peeing, after all, is really a dog's way of marking his property. Sauron looked all over Mens' world and didn't think it was very funny anymore when ever former man was peeing on a nearby wall. The female dogs were sitting there wagging their tails, back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and…Sauron got VERY dizzy staring at Éowyn's tail. He decided to change them back.  
  
ALLA KAZAM!…no, back and forth and back and…  
  
Sauron would've vomited had he not just been a huge eye. He looked around Middle Earth but once again saw no difference until he looked upon his own land. He once again screamed like a little girl. What kind of evil warriors were RATS??? How would they kill everyone in Middle Earth? Sauron HAD to change them quickly.  
  
KABANA BANANA!…crap! no good  
  
His Orcs were still rats. He angrily searched Middle Earth and noticed that the "what are those things that Saruman is making without MY permission???" were guinea pigs. He screamed this time in terror. Guinea pigs were after all very terrifying little creatures. So, to save himself, he chose to quickly change them back.  
  
THIS IS A MAGIC TRICK!…ok, that sure didn't work  
  
Sauron whimpered and inched his way a little bit further east to stay away from the guinea pigs. He looked around to see what he DID do. 'Oh, never mind my worries, it's just the hobbits," he thought. Who cared about HOBBITS? They had never done anything or ever destroyed anything evil. What should he care what happened to them? Even more, they were even less to worry about because instead of hobbits running madly around the countryside, there were squirrels running madly across the countryside. Sauron decided to just change everyone back so everything would be normal again. He would be content with smoking and being bored.  
  
BLAH BLAH BLAH!  
  
Once again, Sauron was disappointed. He scanned the miles and saw nothing interesting. Wait a minute…that old Balrog…that thing Morgoth had made…it looked different somehow. Sauron, however, just couldn't decide how it looked different so he continued on his way. He decided not to even TRY to set things right because he'd probably turn his now freaky Doberman Nazgûl into cute little bunnies or something. So, Sauron sat back and grabbed his pipe, and became bored and even more high than he had been ever before.  
  
A/N: There's the beginning. Can you tell?  
  
Lafi: I think they can, Tafi.  
  
Tafi: Me too. Actually, that's more of a PROLGOUE, hence the name PROLGOUE, but I can call it a beginning if I feel like it, right?  
  
Lafi: Sure, why not? Can I be a squirrel? Or better yet, a cat?  
  
Tafi: You can't be in the story.  
  
Lafi: WHY NOT???  
  
Tafi: Because this is LOTR, not some stupid ol' Mary Sue where "girl falls into Middle Earth and magically suddenly becomes whatever Legolas is, be it Elf or Cat,"  
  
Lafi: Oh, ok.  
  
Tafi: So people, please review! We will only post the next chapter if we get enough reviews that they satisfy us! We don't know how many will, so just review anyway! If there are more flames than reviews…we'll probably not put up another chapter. So, with that stuff in mind, just REVIEW! I'M BEGGING YOU, REVIEW! ~gets on knees~  
  
Lafi: ~does the same~ I'VE NEVER WRITTEN A SUCCESSFUL STORY BEFORE! Seriously, the only thing I've written totally flopped. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! 


	2. Hey...I'm all fuzzy!

A/N: Thanks many reviewers!  
  
Lafi: 6 reviews on the first chapter…within one day…  
  
Tafi: We've never had that kind of success before. Thank you all so much!  
  
Lafi: I like slim black cats.  
  
Tafi: …yeah…and we'll see what the readers think about slim black cats also, won't we?  
  
Saruman was chatting with Sauron over his palantír. Sauron was bragging about how he was going to become a snake. Saruman thought the idea was interesting.  
  
NEATO!  
  
So Saruman waited for that big blood-shot eye to become a snake. He watched and waited. Finally, instead of the eye, he saw a huge red cobra and couldn't help showing his admiration.  
  
NEATO!  
  
Saruman giggled with delight until Sauron looked at him, somehow turned even redder, and disappeared. Saruman wondered what was wrong. He shrugged and walked off. 'Wait a minute,' he thought. He realized that he was NOT, in fact, walking. He looked at himself.  
  
NEATO!  
  
Radagast was hopping around the forest. Suddenly, he couldn't hop any more. 'No matter,' he thought. He saw a bird.  
  
Oh, hiya little birdie!  
  
The bird grabbed him with his beak and Radagast was no more.  
  
Gandalf was up to his usual business wandering around Middle Earth. He was going somewhere this time, though. He was on his way to a birthday party. Gandalf was very excited. He was thinking of cake, ice cream, beer, and other food items – but then he had a sudden urge to eat Bilbo. He licked his lips with the thought of that plump little figure sliding down his throat. But he didn't have lips. He felt his mouth, but not with a limb. He looked at the tail that had just sprouted out of his arse and realized that he looked a little different.  
  
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!…AWESOME!  
  
Lady Galadriel was peering intently into her mirror. 'I look so beautiful today,' she thought happily. She leaned over and looked at herself some more. She leaned over a little more and screamed. Her face was hairy! She tried to back away, but she fell into the water.  
  
ACK! NO! I'M WET! NNNNOOOO!!!!  
  
Lord Elrond was sleeping while sitting cross-legged on his bed. He had a goofy grin on his face. He was dreaming about VERY happy things, after all. He sighed and giggled excitedly. But he suddenly woke up. 'I feel so…dirty,' he thought. So, he cleaned… himself. Suddenly he started choking on something. He leaped off his bed and coughed. Three calico cats ran into his room, and all of them were his size. 'How very curious. Have I shrunk?' he wondered. But he was busier trying to get that dang hairb- wait, had he just tried to call it a hairball? One of the cats that had run into his room was whining.  
  
DDDAAAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!  
  
Without thinking, he answered.  
  
What, Arwen?  
  
Elrohir bit my taaaiiil!  
  
Elrond continued coughing and choking but it seemed like such a normal thing. Elrohir was very angry.  
  
I didn't do it! HE did!  
  
Elrohir angrily pointed to Elladan. Elladan shook his head.  
  
I didn't do it. HE did!  
  
Elrond turned to Arwen. She shrugged.  
  
I dunno. It all happened so fast, and it's so difficult to tell who's who.  
  
Elrond shook his head angrily. He suddenly went cross-eyed and the hairball finally came out.  
  
King Thranduil was sitting very importantly on his throne. He was sitting very tall and perfect. It was very boring. He looked around at the other Elves in the room. It wasn't fair – their arses probably didn't hurt. His was aching horribly. He glared at a nearby Elf. Thranduil screamed and fell out of his throne when that Elf suddenly became a slim black cat. All the Elves became slim black cats. They all noticed and chaos ensued. Cats were running and jumping everywhere. Thranduil didn't care though. He had noticed something very interesting. The cats left the room, maybe to go get some milk or something. After that much jumping they must have been thirsty. Anyway, Thranduil was starring at that very interesting something. He crouched on the floor and his arse instinctively rose and started to shake. He glared at the little interesting something.  
  
You're MINE, little mouse.  
  
He leaped across the room but he hit something. Another slim black cat had just walked into the room and had gotten in his way. The cat looked at him with his bright blue eyes.  
  
Oh. Sorry about that, dad. Didn't see you there.  
  
Thranduil glared at his son. Legolas smiled.  
  
Actually, you should say sorry to me. I didn't jump onto you.  
  
Legolas laughed but Thranduil continued glaring.  
  
You made me lose my mouse.  
  
Legolas shrugged.  
  
I'm more in the mood for squirrel. Do you want to go hunt for some?  
  
Thranduil thought about it for a moment. Squirrel DID sound nice right now…  
  
Up in their nice city at the Lonely Mountain, the Dwarves were having a very pleasant day. They were having a lot of fun today. There's nothing better to do on a hot day than swimming in gold. What fun! Gimli got up on the diving board and was about to jump in when he had a sudden urge to jump into some mud instead. He did just that and had plenty of fun getting nice and dirty.  
  
Denethor was looking at the dead white tree again. He had always wanted to be the king, not the steward. But he had never shown it. He had never crowned himself. He was a very good steward. But then he had such a crazed urge to OWN that tree. He was MEANT to rule, not to serve. He looked around, but all he could see was dogs. Nobody was watching. He lifted his leg and-  
  
Aragorn couldn't find that stupid little creature Gandalf told him to look for. He looked at what could be its tracks, but he just didn't know. It wasn't fair – Gandalf had made him look for some shriveled little halfling while he went to a birthday party. HE wanted to go to the birthday party! HE was the one always doing all of Gandalf's work! He crawled after the tracks and sniffed them. 'Screw this,' he thought. But he suddenly thought that he had the scent. He sniffed the tracks again and started barking excitedly.  
  
Booger the Orc was angry. He was very angry. He wasn't sure why he was angry or what he was angry at, but he was definitely angry. Reebok the Orc looked at Booger's plate. He hadn't eaten all of his cheese yet. Reebok hated cheese, so he decided not to steal it. 'No, I'm being stupid,' he thought. 'Who doesn't LOVE cheese?" With that new thought, Reebok stole Booger's cheese. Booger knew why he was angry now.  
  
THAT'S MY CHEESE!  
  
Well, it's MINE now!  
  
They fought, as Orcs do, to the death.  
  
The newborn Uruk-hai were having very much fun right now. They were killing the Orcs that Saruman used to breed them. Snap, snup, crack, crock. The Orcs were being murdered. But then the Orcs became rats. The Uruk-hai didn't care much and just continued snapping their necks using their huge arms. But then they became guinea pigs and it got considerably harder to do. But guinea pigs are tough creatures and they just bit off the rats' heads instead.  
  
Pippin was running around in circles around Merry's place. He was running around, and around, and around, and around… then he turned into a squirrel and he ran around, and around, and around, and around…  
  
Frodo was sitting contently under a tree reading a book and eating an apple. But then that nice and fun little coloring book got boring and the apple tasted kind of funny. So, without thinking, Frodo jumped onto the tree and ran around, and around, and around, and around…  
  
wwwwwweeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
That's when Gandalf came up, still hungry for that plump little Bilbo. He saw a squirrel running around a tree. It talked to him.  
  
gggggaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnnddddddddAAAAALLFFFFF!!!  
  
The squirrel cried as it ran around the tree two more times.  
  
you're LAAAAAAAAATE!  
  
Gandalf was very confused. He looked at his pipe and quickly threw it away.  
  
A/N: Hey hey, look at that!  
  
Lafi: Hehehe…Frodo's crazy.  
  
Tafi: What squirrel isn't?  
  
Lafi: Squirrels are so ADORABLE! Uh oh…Legolas wants to hunt squirrels.  
  
Tafi: Yeah…just wait until the council. Or better yet, until next chapter. This was kinda lame because it was just what Middle Earth did when it discovered what happened to it.  
  
Lafi: I can't get the image of the Council of Elrond out of my head.  
  
Tafi: I wonder if anyone else is terrified of guinea pigs. I'm terrified of guinea pigs. That's why the Uruk-hai are now guinea pigs.  
  
Lafi: I'm not terrified of guinea pigs. Fighting the guinea pigs will sure be much easier, won't it?  
  
Tafi: Yeah, but I don't think the fellowship will be quite as strong as it used to be either, though. 


	3. Mashed nuts... think wut u will

A/N: So. Lafi kinda disappeared and left me with an unfinished fic. Great. So here I am to finish it, and hopefully by the end, Lafi will show up. I hope that I can still write a fic that you guys love so much, and since you all want it so badly. I'll try to shorten the bits from now until the Council of Elrond.  
  
"A sna- er, wizard is never late"  
  
"WwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeELLLLLLLLLLLLL yyOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooouuuuuuuuu WWWWWWWWeEEEEEErrrrrrrrrrEEEEEE!!!"  
  
"No, I arrived precisely when I meant to!"  
  
Frodo started laughing. Gandalf couldn't stand for this so he stretched out his neck and when Frodo came round to his side of the tree, he bit. But Frodo was too fast. Gandalf decided that he was too little anyway and continued on his way to ea- er, see Bilbo.  
  
"Hey, wait for MMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Frodo was running after Gandalf, so Gandalf went a little faster. Frodo eventully gave up when he saw an especially large nut laying on the ground just off the road.  
  
As Gandalf went, he saw many more squirrels that were jabbering and eating nuts. When they saw him, every last one screamed in a squeaky voice and ran into their homes as fast as they could; which wasn't very fast because it wasn't very easy trying to reach the doorknob.  
  
Gandalf finally reached Bilbo's huge place. He rolled his eyes at the "No lawyers" sign on the gate. Gandalf awkwardly gripped his staff with his tail and knocked on the door.  
  
"If you are a lawyer, I'm not home!"  
  
"Bah, come out you fluffy little squirrel! I have many papers for you to sign!"  
  
"Ack! I told you that I'm not home, lawyer!"  
  
"I'm not a lawyer, I'm Gandalf. I was just pulling your tail."  
  
"Ack! Not my tail!"  
  
"Not literally, you fat little idiot!"  
  
The door opens and Gandalf sees a gray and very scruffy looking squirrel. He's not very hungry any more.  
  
"Well then, come in old friend!"  
  
"Who are you calling old? You've aged so much since I last saw you!"  
  
Gandalf slithers in and grimaces. He sniffs the air. Bilbo smiles.  
  
"What, does my house smell like old people?"  
  
Gandalf glances at Bilbo.  
  
"No. Bilbo, have you been having bladder problems?"  
  
Bilbo looks nervous, but then starts running around like a maniac claiming to look for food for them to eat.  
  
"But if you're having bladder problems, you shouldn't eat every chance you get, should you?"  
  
Bilbo glares at Gandalf and then runs around some more.  
  
"Would you like some mashed nuts?"  
  
"Bilbo, is that a threat?"  
  
"No, of course not!"  
  
Bilbo shows Gandalf a jar full of a strange brownish stuff. Gandalf looks disgusted.  
  
"That looks like shit! Is that the stuff I'm smelling? So you don't have bladder problems after all."  
  
"I DON'T EAT SHIT! This is literally mashed nuts! They're very delicious and very good for digestion. My bladder has very little problems with this stuff."  
  
Gandalf looks at Bilbo oddly.  
  
"Er. not that I ever had any bladder problems!"  
  
Gandalf looks doubtful. Bilbo sighed.  
  
"Well, do you want any?"  
  
"No thanks. No matter how delicious you say it is, it still looks like shit."  
  
Bilbo opens the jar and shoves some in his mouth.  
  
"You don't mind if I do, do you?"  
  
"No, not really. As long as those aren't actual nuts."  
  
"But they are!"  
  
"Eru, Bilbo, no! What's gotten into you? You can't just go around stealing guys' nuts and smashing them so you can eat them later!"  
  
"Why do you keep assuming that I mean guys' nuts rather than plants' nuts?"  
  
"Plants have nuts??? Well, I guess Ents might."  
  
"No! Seeds, Gandalf, seeds!"  
  
"Seeds? This is just getting worse and worse. So there's seeds in the nuts? I suppose that's expected."  
  
"Gah!!! I mean like walnuts!"  
  
"Since when do walls have nuts?"  
  
"You're going to give me a heart attack. I should go on a holiday."  
  
"Why not Rivendell? They have many handsome nuts there."  
  
Bilbo looks excited.  
  
"Really? Any almonds?"  
  
Gandalf snorts.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Mmmm. I love almonds! My favorite nuts are almonds!"  
  
"So, do you mean almond colored nuts?"  
  
"Arg! Why do you have such a perverted mind, Gandalf?"  
  
"The authors are two teenage girls."  
  
"All they think of is nuts?"  
  
A/N: Actually, we think of other things also. ^_^ Yay, guess what??? About half-way through Lafi showed up and helped me out a bit.  
  
Lafi: Bit.  
  
Tafi: OK, you did half of the work. I had horrible writer's block and then you came and helped out.  
  
Lafi: Yeah, you needed me to come in and giggle when I saw "mashed nuts"  
  
Tafi: Yes. What would I have done? But I continued with it, thus probably boring the readers. Oh well.  
  
~*Lafi&Tafi*~  
  
  
  
Jade: Sorry it took all day to post, but I told you I had writer's block. Then we went shopping, then ate dinner, then more shopping. I got the kewlest shoes!!! But I'm truly sorry this took so long. You really did seem to need a laugh. Of course. assuming this made you laugh. Hope it did! ~*Tafi*~ 


	4. Hot in Herre

A/N: Can you believe the last chapter was called cute and fluffy??? I'm not saying who, but someone actually said that. Personally, I think that person is nuts. ~laughs~  
  
~pause~  
  
Ok then. Once again, Lafi isn't here, so I'm stuck. Let's see how bad I mess this up. But I was just inspired greatly by the poems of Gods and Goddesses. Go look at their stuff if you have writer's block.  
  
Maybe if I'm lucky, she'll show up halfway again!  
  
~*Tafi*~  
  
  
  
Bilbo dealt with Gandalf's snide remarks for the rest of the day. But Gandalf quickly shut up when he saw the huge bowl of mashed nuts on a table at the party. He figured he'd be best just not thinking about it.  
  
  
  
A/N: Ok, not exactly halfway. But Lafi just showed up.  
  
Lafi: Sorry I'm late, but you just started without me. ~glare~  
  
Tafi: Ok, so let's get back to the story then!  
  
  
  
Gandalf had better things to think about anyway. He created some "Fun In Really Easy Ways Of Real Killers" or, abbreviated, "fireworks" for a diversion. He used them very wisely. 'I'm a predator now, and predators always hunt the weak,' he thought. So, logically, he had to eat children. The brightly colored explosions excited the children and made it incredibly easy for Gandalf to lure them from the adults. One particularly fat kid wanted to know how to make a firework, so Gandalf took him away alone to show him.  
  
Gandalf slithered back to the gathering, licking his. uh. do snakes have lips? No. But you get it, right? Good. Anyway, Gandalf was coming back to the party and had a nice large bit of meat in his stomach. He was about to start up the fireworks when someone screamed behind him.  
  
"Oh my god! A snake!"  
  
All the squirrels at the party screamed in reponse.  
  
"A snake? Where?"  
  
"Ack! There he is!"  
  
"Everyone run away from the snake!"  
  
"Don't worry, I'm sure that the one we worship will save us!"  
  
Pippin called out that last remark. Merry was confused.  
  
"Who do we worship?"  
  
"That tall guy!"  
  
Pippin pointed to the guy who yelled at first.  
  
"He's taller than normal extra tall people, and he sparkles!"  
  
Pippin ran up the tall guy like he was a tree until he was on his head.  
  
"Protect us, oh great one!"  
  
All the other hobbits got interested and ran around and on the tall guy. Bilbo glared at the tall guy, who seemed to be enjoying his godly treatment.  
  
"Hey. you fat gray scruffy squirrel, why aren't you worshiping me?"  
  
Bilbo rolled his eyes.  
  
"You're three hours late."  
  
"I'm neva later than an hour."  
  
"Then you're an hour late."  
  
"Yeah, I had some trouble finding this place. You shoulda hired someone from Middle-earth."  
  
"I've got the money, and I like spending it."  
  
Bilbo pointed his musical performer to the stage. Nelly sighed and walked to the stage. After all, maybe those squirrels would worship him more if they heard his music.  
  
The squirrels did seem to love him more with his music. They had no idea what he was saying, but they loved it anyway and danced along.  
  
"What does he mean by 'Ride Wit Me'?"  
  
"Is that what he said?"  
  
"I thought he said 'Rave Wit Me'."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Well, I think he said 'Red Wick Ma'."  
  
"What does THAT mean???"  
  
Sam rolled his eyes at these stupid hobbits.  
  
"He said 'Rosie', ok?"  
  
Frodo sighed.  
  
"Is she all you ever think about?"  
  
"What? Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was thinking about Rosie."  
  
"You think about her enough, but I bet you don't have the nuts to dance with her."  
  
"You're right. I don't."  
  
"Too bad."  
  
Frodo pushed Sam and Sam tumbled over a few other squirrels before he fell into the arms of Lobelia Sackville-Baggins.  
  
"Hey, you're not Ros-"  
  
"Yeah, let's dance you little whipper-snapper!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Frodo looked on with wide eyes.  
  
"Oops."  
  
Gandalf had started his fireworks again, and Merry and Pippin were the oldest ones watching. Gandalf suddenly disappeared and the fireworks stopped, but they wanted more. So they went to where the rest of them were and picked one out. Pippin chose the biggest one there, but for obvious reasons couldn't lift it. Merry whined impatiently.  
  
"No, the smaller one! Get one we can carry!"  
  
So Pippin got the smallest firework (the only one he could lift) and they ran away giggling.  
  
Sam had finally gotten away from Lobelia and was chatting happily with some other hobbits when a thought came to him.  
  
"Hey, did you realize that we're all squirrels?"  
  
"No, not really."  
  
"But now that you mention it."  
  
"We are kinda fuzzy."  
  
Sam was thinking some more.  
  
"I wonder how that happened."  
  
"Y-y-you wonder?"  
  
"Yes, I wish I knew how it happened."  
  
The other hobbits gasped.  
  
"You're being CURIOUS, Sam!"  
  
"How unnatural!"  
  
The hobbits started laughing and began spreading the gossip.  
  
"Did you hear?"  
  
"Sam was curious!"  
  
"Sam? Don't know him. I only know good normal hobbits."  
  
"Mr. Frodo!"  
  
"Er. I mean. uh. Sam was probably just joking."  
  
Pippin lit the fuse and Merry freaked.  
  
"You're supposed to put it in the ground!"  
  
"It is in the ground!"  
  
"No, this is UNDER ground!"  
  
Pippin and Merry run out of Merry's hobbit hole and into a tent.  
  
"No, Pip! Not in there!"  
  
But it was too late. Pippin dropped the little firework because it burnt his finger. And moments after it hit the ground, Gandalf's tiniest firework exploded. Merry and Pippin gasped. A small orange butterfly flew around the tent a bit. It sat on Pippin's nose for a second, and then landed on Merry's arm. But then the cute little butterfly turned into a fire butterfly and Merry's coat went on fire. Merry and Pippin ran out of the tent screaming. They ran around in circles until they ran into each other, and then both went ablaze. They ran into a few other hobbits on their way to the stream. Those few ran into another few, and that few into another few, until almost all of the squirrels were running around setting tents and table ablaze.  
  
Nelly, looking at the madness, decided to stop mid song to start singing "Hot in Herre"  
  
  
  
A/N: Lolz, I liked this one!  
  
Lafi: Me too. Now let's post it.  
  
Tafi: Please don't forget to review!!!  
  
~*Lafi&Tafi*~ 


End file.
